Percolations

Lengthening Christmas – The Feast of Epiphany

Any observant and curious new guest in our home will almost always ask “What is that strange writing above your door?”  There, written in chalk, is the inscription “20CMB10″, which is both a prayer for God’s blessing and a reminder to us, as Christians, about the use of our home.  It was put there as part of our celebration of Epiphany, an ancient but mostly forgotten holiday celebrating Jesus’ baptism, his visitation by the Magi, and God’s revelation of His Son to the Gentiles.

Epiphany first began as a day to remember Jesus’ baptism.  It was during his baptism that Jesus’ full identity as the Son of God was proclaimed.  Matthew recounts in his Gospel that “as soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him.  And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.’”  The Trinity is first “revealed” in the Gospels here.  In fact we still use the word “epiphany” today to mean a sudden revelation or “shining forth”.

In the Western Church (of which Protestants and Roman Catholics are a part), with the date of Christmas fixed on December 25, Epiphany came to be recognized as a holiday to remember Jesus’ manifestation mainly through the visitation of the Magi.  It began to be celebrated on January 6, marking the end of a Christmas celebration that was twelve days long instead of just one.  This helps explain certain Christmas songs about geese, partridges, and turtle doves.

Over time, certain customs sprang up.  The number of the Magi, or wise men, was set at three, even though Matthew does not give a number.  Then they were given names.  Even their appearances were described in the 8th century by a monk named Bede:

The first was called Melchior. He was an old man, with white hair and a long beard; he offered gold to the Lord as to his King. The second, Gaspar [or Caspar] by name, young, beardless, of ruddy hue, offered to Jesus his gift of incense, the homage due to Divinity. The third, of black complexion, with heavy beard, was middle-aged and called Balthasar. The myrrh he held in his hand prefigured the death of the son of Man.

I give Bede points for creativity!  The tradition lives on in modern nativity scenes.  Generally there are three wise men and more often then not, they look exactly as Bede described them 1300 years ago.

The Three Wise Men, from Basilica of Sant Apollinare Nuovo in Ravenna, Italy. Detail from: "Mary and Child, surrounded by angels", completed within 526 AD (photo by Nina Aldin Thune)

Another custom appeared in the Middle Ages: the blessing of the home with chalk.  The custom involves a small prayer and Scripture-reading service.  In our home, we read the story of the Magi and then pray this prayer:

O God, by the leading of a star you manifested your only Son to the peoples of the earth: Lead us, who know you now by faith, to your presence, where we may see your glory face to face; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Then comes the actual writing above or on the door.  C+M+B represents the initials of the three wise men: Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar.  They also stand for Christus mansionem benedicat, meaning “May Christ bless this home.”  The outside numbers, 20 and 10, represent the current year.  So this season we will replace the inscription with 20CMB11.  It is a reminder to us that, because Jesus has “shone forth” as our most precious gift, our house is to be used for His glory.  Everyone who passes through our doors deserves to be treated like Christ, for Jesus says “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”  Every guest deserves our most sincere hospitality.

Celebrating Epiphany helps us lengthen the Christmas season.  While everyone else is cleaning up wrapping paper and preparing for a long winter, we get to add on a few more days to our celebration.  Christmas has become for us a season, rather than just a day.  It is a time to celebrate the tension between the “already” and “not yet”.   Jesus has come, but he will also come again in glory.  But even as a small baby laying in a manger he was revealed to the world through the visitation of the Magi.  It is for this reason we celebrate Epiphany.

Dear Bottled Water,

I hate you. Here’s a much more eloquent telling of why:

http://www.stopcorporateabuse.org/story-of-bottled-water

Love,

Dana

Music: Love

Oh. my. You all need to check this geniusness out: Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors.

Listen especially to “Hung the Moon”. I got all sniffly when I first listened to it because it reminds me of my love for Jason. *Sigh*

Here are the lyrics:

i like the way you hung the moon
well i just like being close to you
when you’re gone i feel so blue
yeah, i like the way you hung the moon

i like the way you know that dance
i like the way you hold my hand
just spin me all across the floor
yeah, i like the way you know that dance

well i like the way you sing your songs
you’ve been singing to me all along
the way you loved me won my heart
yeah, i like the way you sing your songs

i put on that white dress for you
i don’t preach or marry, but yes i do
i’ll stay and i’ll grow gray with you
yeah, i put on that white dress for you.

Love.

Babies and Presents

So many of my wonderful friends are currently preggers that I’ve decided to make some super fun baby gifts for them! I have to get my sewing machine tuned up and purchase some bright new thread and I’ll be good to go!

My first project is going to be making baby bibs and burp cloths from old t-shirts and jeans. I’m a big fan of that whole “reduce-reuse-recycle” thing and I’m on a budget, so woot! Here’s what I hope they turn out to look like (or something akin, at least):

Jason, luckily, owns approximately 143 t-shirts and has, like a champ, gone through them and plucked out some of the lesser used. My favorite, perhaps, is the Jolly Green Giant:

I’m thinking of making that into a romper because it’s too super to cut it into pieces. Now, the REAL quandary is going to be finding the time to make these cutenesses. Curse you full time employment! *Shakes fist* How dare you provide me with money to live and have the audacity to take up 8 hours or my day!?

Love.

Psalms

I thought I’d post two of my favorite readings from the Scriptures-words I hold dear to my heart, because YHWH God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways thru them. First, Psalm 121:

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Second, Psalm 13:

¹ How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

⁴ my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

*Sigh* Good words.

Love.

Book Review: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

To give Maya credit where credit is due, I’m sure discovering why the caged bird sings is supposed to be surmised from the overall tale of her autobiography. I wasn’t exactly expecting her to come out and put it down in black and white, but I did expect a little more exposition on the subject. However, I did find this quote from her online that I did not find in the book:

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer. A bird sings because it has a song.

In light of that statement, the title of her autobiography makes more sense. Just like the caged bird, she was controlled by people and made to do things that were against her nature, that didn’t allow her the chance to be free. Yet also like the bird, she still sang and did not allow evil to write her story. She refused to let her metaphorical cage keep her from doing what she was made to do.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was brilliant. It’s one woman’s story about growing up and into who she was created to be. I loved it. I devoured it like a rabid hyena on an injured rabbit. Seriously. Okay, maybe that metaphor was a little much but you know what I mean.

I immensely enjoyed being educated about the difficulties of being African American because it’s so easy for me to let my whiteness blind me to injustices:

“As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something which puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see the corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage. Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism does not affect them because they are not people of color: they do not see “whiteness” as racial identity. In my class and place, I did not recognize myself as a racist because I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in invisible systems conferring unsought racial dominance on my group from birth.”

-Peggy McIntosh

Don’t get me wrong, that’s not the point of Dr. Angelou’s story but it does provide one with a good starting education on the subject. I, however, surmised her point to this: Evil will happen to us, but we ultimately decide how to let it affect us. We can choose to either give it power over us or to say, “To Hell with it. I am worth more than that.”

Perhaps, because of where I am in my own journey and because of my feelings of kinship with Dr. Angelou for various reasons, this is what the book taught me. For you, it may be different.

May her story meet you where you are and teach you something wonderful.

Coming Out

It’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts about how to write this blog post. I’ve had to ponder what I’m comfortable with sharing, for all the world to see, and pare down the uncomfortabilities. I’m hoping, for the most part, to get a dialogue started. So, here goes:

I struggle with depression.

And I’m not talking about the every day blues. I’m talking about blackness. An all consuming, oppressive fog that taints some of the would-be best times of my life. There are days I can’t get out of bed because the sadness weighs so heavily on my heart and moments when all I can do is cry, and let my husband hold me.

I’m bringing this to light for 3 reasons:

1) Because I’m finding that the more I externalize the depression, the better I am at dealing with it: at locating its root causes and the false beliefs that I’m holding about myself and the world. The more I tell people, the easier it is to find patterns of toxic thinking. I’m able to realize that events in my past, that I had NO idea were affecting me, are in fact sucking me dry.

2) For most of my life, I’ve had people tell me that I’m not grateful enough for my “blessings” and that if I had enough faith in YHWH, I wouldn’t be depressed (I’m sure you’ve heard that idiotic catchphrase: “I’m too blessed to be depressed”). I’m tired of believing the people who have told me that depression is all my fault and making me feel bad because I deal with it.

3) SO MANY PEOPLE are fighting the same battle I’m fighting and SO MANY PEOPLE don’t understand depression. It’s only been by my openness (cultivated by God’s Spirit) that I’ve been able to have some incredible conversations with people about depression. There truly is power in creating a safe community to talk about this.

Now, I want you to know a few things. First, I used to take medication for my depression and see NO (read: absolutely none) problem with that or with others who need it to help strike a balance in their life. In fact, I only stopped taking it about 1 1/2 months ago.

Secondly, I believe that medication in and of itself is not the solution to depression. It’s a means of helping clear your brain so you can work through all of that darkness and getting to the root of what’s going on. Before I began going to see a therapist (no shame), I was dead set on believing that my depression was purely chemical. Then, I started talking about it and came to the realization that my depression is a far cry from being solely based on the chemical imbalances in my brain.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, it has been the grace of YHWH that has carried me through this journey. I would have off’ed myself a looong time ago if it weren’t for His relentless pursuit of me. And it’s taken me far too long to recognize the power that He has to help me overcome this. For so. damn. long., I’ve felt powerless and helpless and weak but I’m growing into the knowledge (verrrry cautiously) that because of Christ, and His Spirit living in me, I can do this. I can be free of depression’s god-like hold over my life. I know I’m always going to have a darkness and blackness that sneaks into my heart like a thief but I now know how to protect myself, how to defend myself, and that I’m not alone in this.

Part of my depression truly is a chemical imbalance but it grows stronger because such a large part of it is spiritual and emotional.

For some good resources on the subject, check out:

To Write Love On Her Arms

Focus on the Family’s articles on Depression. (Yes, I actually linked to FOTF’s website BECAUSE, in spite of the fact I think they are *ahem* a bit nutty on some issues, they do a well-rounded explanation of emotional health).

This book that I haven’t read but am getting around to. It has been recommended by several people whom I trust and respect.

This book that I have read and loved.

Love.

You took my blackened branches and turned them Springtime green.

I love Ash Wednesday. It’s a day to celebrate my coming from dust and returning thereto, the healing and redemption that Jesus has brought me, and my identity in Him.

Growing up in a southern baptist church, I had no idea what this holy day was. The only holy days that I knew existed were Christmas and Easter, both aligned with some strange creature who knows all and sneaks into your home @ night (so even those weren’t exactly “holy”).

Two things changed my perspective on how to celebrate this, and other, holidays:

1) I began attending Sojourn and became keenly aware that Protestants can celebrate traditionally “Catholic” holidays and that said holidays aren’t “evil” and solely about Mary, as I was taught.  As a matter of fact, these holidays can strengthen and bring about a richness to my faith that I had not thought possible.

2) I met Jason. His wisdom and interest in the Church fathers, liturgy, and Orthodoxy taught me about the ancient ties that these practices have in the faith. What we participate in on these holy days is something that saints from 1900 years ago participated in. What a beautiful thing…

I love knowing that all over the world today, from rural Oklahoma to Venice, Italy, people are celebrating the same thing I am. That we are participating in an ancient rite that has been passed down to us for centuries.  And that we all have ashes on our foreheads.

So…if you’re wondering why you’re seeing people walking around looking like this:

It’s becasue we are reminding ourselves of this truth:

From dust we came and to dust we shall return.

I’ll leave you with a portion of the litany that I adore:

Most holy and merciful Father:
We confess to you and to one another,
and to the whole communion of saints
in heaven and on earth,
that we have sinned by our own fault
in thought, word, and deed;
by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.

Knitting Project #1

I love making things. I love being able to take a piece of thread and two sticks and create. A hat to keep loved ones warm, an iPod cozy for those cold days when my poor iPod is shivering, a bag to carry my journal in, and funky scarves that make people smile.

I think man, being made in God’s image, was designed to create. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard describe this urge, this longing. Sure, they all use different words and metaphors to talk about it and most of the time, the fulfillment of this desire looks entirely different from one person to the next…but it’s still there.

Anyway. Seeing as how I was made in God’s image, I figure it would be a pretty swell idea to let some of my creative juices flow. Thus, the Zeeby bag:

Hopefully mine will come out looking as cute as this one, though I admit my knitting skills have withered a bit since not being put to good use over the past months. Also, I’m using a different yarn. It’s pink, yellow and white. Yarn Bee’s Highland Thistle: Galloway to be exact. But sadly, I couldn’t find a picture of it online to show you how it radiates awesomeness.

I’ll be posting pics of the bag as I make it. Not for your entertainment of course, but for my own. : )

P.S. I got the pattern out of one of my favorite knitting books:

Ah, it’s fabulous. If you want to try your hand at knitting (ha! pun intended), then you should pick up a copy of this bad boy.

The Great Divorce: Thoughtful Musings

So, I finished reading “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis a few days ago, however, I’ve hesitated to write about it for the simple fact that I doubt I can do it much justice. Alas, I shall try nonetheless.

First, a quick and altogether shameful synopsis:

The narrator falls asleep and dreams of travelling through Heaven and Hell on a bus. Hell, in his dream, isn’t the bottomless pit of flames and darkness. Rather, it’s a grey city that expands light years into its space. Heaven, on the other hand, is the most gorgeous of lands.

Once in Heaven (so to speak), shining “spirits” of men and women come to greet those who have left the bus and to invite them to seek forgiveness and come into Heaven. The Spirits promise that though the journey deeper into Heaven will painful, the Ghosts will gradually become immune to the pain.

Sadly, most of the Ghosts decide to return to the grey city for one reason or another while few remain. The narrator is able to see Ghosts transformed into shining Spirits, solidifying as they give up their self-indulgences to embrace Love Himself…

I hesitate to say too much more for fear of giving away the good parts. Hopefully that has piqued your interest.

Musings

A) One of Lewis’s primary focuses is the ability of the Ghosts to choose their destination. They are shown both Heaven and Hell. The Spirits try to persuade them to stay,  to venture further into Heaven but most turn away because they’re more comfortable in the grey city-there’s no journey of suffering to get there.

B) Lewis challenges the Christian’s belief that God’s grace is for everyone. (SPOILER ALERT!!) One of my favorite passages from the book is when a man (who deems himself a good man) is greeted by his friend’s murderer. The murderer, now solid and Christlike because of YHWH’s forgiveness, was sent from God to bring the man into Heaven. The man contends with the Spirit and basically says, “If Heaven is the kind of place that lets people like you in, I don’t want to be there.”

Ouch. I was so stunned that I literally had to stop reading. I realized that there were people in my life I felt the same way about: My neighbor, her crazy son, my “father”. If anyone of them came to greet me, I would think, “Get away. There’s no way I EVER want to spend eternity any where near you”. How utterly condescending and dreadful. If I hesitate to enter Heaven based upon man, I have no place there.

Since then, I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around the fact that God’s grace is limitless. Free. For EVERYONE. And, unlike the man in the aforementioned story, I need to put away my “rights” and let God be God.

So…

What all this means is you should DEFINITELY read “The Great Divorce”. I recommend it wholeheartedly!